More from Fran Lebowitz

  1. A place more hospitable to tourists than to its citizens is a Third World country.
  2. The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
  3. I understand, of course, that many people find smoking objectionable. That is their right. I would, I assure you, be the very last to criti…
  4. Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
  5. Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
  6. No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
  7. Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your …
  8. Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

All Fran Lebowitz quotes