Quote #16
On life's list of fun things to do, [visiting my in-laws] comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
More from Jeff Foxworthy
- [from a skit about airports] You know you're in trouble when at the control tower, there's a note taped to the door that says 'Back in five…
- You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
- The problem with the designated driver program is it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At …
- A few weeks ago, sitting in traffic -- bumper-to-bumper traffic in Atlanta -- the car in front of me has got a bumper sticker that says 'Ho…
- If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Five minutes at the fai…
- (To his wife) You do not have testicular cancer. You don't even have 'testiculars'!
- Hell, when I was in high school, a 'drive-by shooting' meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
- If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.