If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

(To his wife) You do not have testicular cancer. You don't even have 'testiculars'!

If you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay, or married.

A few weeks ago, sitting in traffic -- bumper-to-bumper traffic in Atlanta -- the car in front of me has got a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love Jesus…