If you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay, or married.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder?... 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

(To his wife) You do not have testicular cancer. You don't even have 'testiculars'!