Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder?... 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

If you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay, or married.

I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.