From Jeopardy...

'You sound like you got a nice pair of them tits, those big floppy fuckin balogna tits.' (from 'Testing for Jeopardy')

'How many pits are in a pear?' 'Aah, two.' 'You know damn well there are more than 2 pits in a pear'

'Me, I don't give a fuck. You know, a hole's a hole. As long as there's a little heat in there I don't give a fuck.' (from 'Testing for Jeopardy')

This is The Tonight Show. I can't tell you too much about it, other than the fact that this program is going to go on forever.

Nobody and nothing beats The Simpsons. Even after all this time, it's still the best satire since Monty Python.

I watched a rerun on television of a 1960s comedy programme called 'Mr Ed', which was about a talking horse. Judging by the quality of the jokes, I would guess…