It's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down.'

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.

Whenever you feel like criticizing any one... just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.

No radiant pearl which crested Fortune wears, No gem that twinkling hangs from Beauty's ears, Not the bright stars which Night's blue arch adorn, Nor rising su…

Wealth is not without its advantages, and the case to the contrary, although it has often been made, has never proved widely persuasive.