Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

It's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like…

I've done it! I've defiled a timeless piece of art! For my next bit, I'll paint a clown face on the Mona Lisa while using the Shroud of Turin as a drop cloth! …

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

He's one of those people who is completely and utterly irreplaceable. One of the things he did was to form the basis of what one would call the new comedy of t…

History is more or less bunk. It's tradition. We don't want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker's damn is the…

'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.'