I've had several complaints today, all asking to bring back Lisa I'Anson. This next record is for you, Mr Simpson of Plymouth. It's 'BoltThrower'... (John terrorising radio one's lunchtime audience while standing in for a sick DJ.)

Climbing into bed with Sheila and doing what we call wrapping - she's only five foot, and I kind of wrap round her and immediately I feel at peace. (Asked 'Wha…

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.

I get letters from people who say 'I hadn't listened to your programme for twelve years, and I was driving home the other night and heard something I thought w…

Now this is... talk about not being able to pronounce things, I'm in real trouble with this next one, because the name of the band... well it's spelt K-U-K-L. …

And this week's programme is being engineered by Nicky, whose loveliness is enough to drive fat men to drink, but in her defence she'll come and have a drink w…

And now it's time for Coast to Coast with Art Bell and the same sorry ABBA song.