I was on a plane, and the steward was coming down the aisle. 'Asian chicken salad... Asian chicken salad... Asian chicken salad...' And he gets to me and he's like, '...Chicken salad!' What does he think I'm gonna do? 'Dis is not de salad of my people! In my homeland dey use mandarin orange slices ...and crispy wonton crunches!'

I get nervous when people say to me, 'I just can't tell any of you Asians apart!' Um, why do you have to tell us apart? Are we gonna be separated for some reas…

Women and eating disorders have such a long history, but now I see it happening to gay men. And when it comes to anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphia, gay men ar…

The only thing that was sort of Asian [as a role model] was Hello Kitty. I don't want to model myself after Hello Kitty. She has no mouth.

A black man failing black history : you know, fat people don't fail cooking.

I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers.

I asked a Jewish man 'Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?' He said 'Yes', and walked away.