I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor. He told me, 'There's no masturbation in the DC Universe.' To which my reaction was, 'Well that explains a lot about the DC Universe.'

Give a man a fish, and he's creating art. But teach him to fish, and soon you'll have a pool full of exploding koi.

Writers may be solitary but they also tend to flock together: they like being solitary together.

What most people don't know about love, sex, and relations with other human beings would fill a book. Strangers in Paradise is that book. I have long suspected…

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

You can always tell a detective on TV. He never takes his hat off.

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.