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Women always said things like that, and it made him crazy. It's as if every conversation with a woman was a test, and men always failed it, because they always lacked the key to the code and so they never quite understood what the conversation was really about. If, just once, the man could understand, really comprehend the whole of the conversation, then the perfect union between male and female would be possible. But instead men and women continued to cohabit, even to love each other, without ever quite crossing over the chasm of misunderstanding between them

Orson Scott Card#546

LoveRelationshipsCommunicationGender

About this quote

What does it mean?
Men often feel conversations with women are tests they fail due to a lack of understanding.
In plain terms
Men feel they do not understand women and that this causes constant misunderstanding.
What can you take from it?
Misunderstanding between genders can feel like an unbridgeable gap.

Where it applies

  • dating
  • marriage
  • daily conversation

Putting it to work

  • seek clarification
  • acknowledge differences

Questions to consider

  • Do gender differences in communication exist?
  • How can couples bridge understanding gaps?

Another view

It generalizes all men and women into fixed communication styles.

More from Orson Scott Card

  1. More than likely, mother would simply go enigmatic on him, give him one of her inscrutable smiles, and tell him that if he didn't already understand, he never …

    Permalink to quote #545
  2. Esther tuned out their conversation and thought about Vanya, about how strange it was that this other woman, this girl-child, should speak of her son so posses…

    Permalink to quote #547
  3. You're not losing me, mother. I'm in love. I never had you, not since you escaped from the womb

    Permalink to quote #544

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