Orson Scott Card Quotes on Communication
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Don't condescend to me mother But Quim, it seems so natural, considering how you always condescend to me
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Don't even admit that you doubt their religion
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I speak to everyone in the language they understand. That isn't being slick. It's being clear
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There's so much that we don't understand. And so much more that you don't understand. We should tell each other more
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A question isn't an argument, unless you think you know my answer.
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When someone dies, a loved one, and your last contact with them was angry or spiteful, then you begin to blame yourself. If only I hadn't said this, if only I hadn't said that.
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He wasn't telling the truth, with trumpets; he was telling the truth, the story you wouldn't think to doubt because it's taken for granted.
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Those who know each other only through symbolic representations are forced to imagine each other. And because their imagination is imperfect, they are often wrong.
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She had passed his test. She had listened to him the way no one else did - without impatience, without finishing his sentences, without letting her gaze waver from his face. He had spoken to her, not with careful precision, but with great emotion... He could talk to this woman as naturally as he had ever talked to anyone before... Yes, she was opinionated, headstrong, bossy, and quick to reach conclusions. But she could also listen to an opposing view, change her mind when she needed to. She could listen, and so he could speak. Perhaps with her he could still be [himself].
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If you treat me this way, then I will treat you like a great lord, and if you do not detect the irony in my actions, then who of the two of us is the fool?
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You both refuse to listen to anybody else. You know better about everything. And when you're both done, many many innocent people are dead.
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You'd think she'd learn something from that. But she still does the same thing. Making decisions that deform other people's lives, without consulting them, without ever conceiving that perhaps they don't want her to save them from whatever supposed misery she's saving them from.
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You aren't very good at determining what other people want and need from you... No one is. We're all as likely to hurt as help.
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Even if that's just bullshit, sir, it's first-rate bullshit. I'll pass it on.
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There were times for absolute honesty between friends, but this wasn't one of them.
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Please stop reassuring me of how respectful you are whenever you're about to tell me that I'm an idiot.
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What you don't seem to understand is, sometimes you have to tell people the truth and ask them to do the thing you want, instead of trying to trick them into it.
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He luxuriated in the sound of high language well spoken.
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'And you actually were cuddly,' said Carn. 'No offense, but you were spunky.' 'If that's your word for 'bratty little asshole,' said Dink mildly.
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Better to listen than speak at a time like this.
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I hate it when you back away from a quarrel like that. I don't like conflict. But you always back off at the exact moment when you're about to tell the other person exactly what she needs to hear.
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She understands my heart better than you do, and I can speak her thoughts almost before she speaks them
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We're going to have to have a long talk about priorities before long
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I have no secret thoughts... Or rather, they're not secret because I've withheld them - if they're unknown, it's because no one asked
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After discussions like this, the boys would turn around and talk about how girls weren't reasonable, they were emotional, you couldn't even have an intelligent conversation with them - but it was the boys who fled from the evidence and constantly shifted their arguments to fit what they wanted to believe. And it was [she] who was ruthlessly realistic, refusing to deny her own feelings or the facts that she observed around her. And refusing to deny that she reached her conclusions first, because of her inmost desires, and only afterward constructed the arguments to support them. Only boys were so foolish that they actually believed their arguments were their reasons
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If you don't want to control what I think, why did you raise your voice? Why did you argue with me at all?
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Don't be too anxious to control other people's ideas
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There are many things that men and women do not say, because to say them would only bring unhappiness
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So we can discuss things as equals. That would never be possible with them - they're too young. They haven't lived
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Why don't you say what you're thinking? What makes you think you want to hear it? Because the way you looked at me... I knew what you were thinking was, I love her, I want her beside me forever, I want her to be my wife, and ... I tell you honestly, I'm sick and tired of waiting for you to say it outloud What! Why should I tell you what you already know? Because I need to hear it
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Don't ask me questions when I don't even know the answer myself
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Peggy couldn't tell the truth. She knew these folks too well. She knew what they all were scared of, what they all wanted, what they all had done that they'd kill her or theirself if they once got a notion that she knew. Even the ones who never done a bad thing, they'd be so ashamed to think she knew their secret dreams or private craziness. So she never could speak frankly to these folks, or something would slip out, not even a word maybe, it might be just the way she turned her head, the way she sidestepped some line of talk, and they'd know that she knew, or just fear that she knew, or just fear. Just fear alone, without even naming what it was, and it could undo them, some of them, the weakest of them
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I knew you could shed that folksy talk the minute you wanted to Yes, I can do that. Just as I can speak French to a Frenchman and Spanish to a Spaniard and four kinds of red talk depending on which tribe I'm with. But you, do you speak scorn and mockery to everyone? Or just to your betters?
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When people say perhaps its cause they're lying. Either they don't believe the thing they're saying, or they do believe it only they don't want to admit they do
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Was she being ironic? Vanya had never been able to guess about mother
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In Vanya's family, silence had never meant surrender, only tactical retreat
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Is there any hope that you can explain to me why this makes sense?
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More than likely, mother would simply go enigmatic on him, give him one of her inscrutable smiles, and tell him that if he didn't already understand, he never would
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Women always said things like that, and it made him crazy. It's as if every conversation with a woman was a test, and men always failed it, because they always lacked the key to the code and so they never quite understood what the conversation was really about. If, just once, the man could understand, really comprehend the whole of the conversation, then the perfect union between male and female would be possible. But instead men and women continued to cohabit, even to love each other, without ever quite crossing over the chasm of misunderstanding between them
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Why are you raising your voice to me, if not to command?
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He was close to her hour after hour, the smell of her, the touch of her breath on the hairs of his arms or on his ears as she leaned over his shoulder to watch. He thought sometimes he might go insane with desire for her; but he could not think of a way to change what lay between them, and though he thought she liked him well enough now, he still didn't know if their friendship was yet the thing a marriage should be made of. Do you love me? He wanted to ask her, to demand of her. But fearing the answer would be a wan 'I'm sorry, Ivan,' he did not speak
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That was the way communication was among women, most of the time; few women realized it, but they all depended on it. 'Women's intuition' wasn't intuition at all, it was heightened observation, unconscious registration of subtle clues
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I'm always cheerful and polite. But when it matters I say what I think - cheerfully and politely
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Why do you bother asking, when you know the answer and you also know that you don't intend to believe it?
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You may think you ashamed, but you not. Deep down in your heart. You know you done it all You don't know what I feel
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You as stupid as they come. Of course, I say this with your best interests at heart. Most people are stupid. I don't hold it against them
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I want the truth, no matter how hard it is to hear it.
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[He] made a little whimpering noise that meant everything she wanted it to mean.
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You have just described the relationship between males and females. Two completely different species, completely unintelligible to each other, living side by side and thinking they're really the same. The fascinating thing is that the two species persist in marrying each other and having babies, sometimes of one species, sometimes of other, and the whole time they can't understand why they can't understand each other.
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How do you understand me so well? 'I only know what you show me and what you tell me. It's all we ever know about each other. The only thing that helps is that nobody can ever lie for long about who they really are. Not even to themselves
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He wanted to talk to her. Right now, at this moment, he wanted to tell her what he was thinking, wanted her to question him and argue with him until she made him come up with an answer, or lots of answers. He needed her to see what he wasn't seeing. He needed her a lot more than they needed her
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The greatest work of all is the one that will die with us, the one that no one else will ever know of, because they remain perpetually outside. We can't even explain it to them. They don't have the language to understand us. We can only speak I to each other
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What do you mean, 'ah'? Just 'ah.' does every 'ah' have to mean something?
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He asked me quietly as we walked the next day, 'What have you done to the young soldier? Put the fear of god into him' I had meant to be funny. Odd, how a man can be careful in all his pronouncements, and then forget everything he knows as a joke comes to mind and he impulsively tells it
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At last I was able to explain that I hadn't understood the implications of my statement in their language, that I was transliterating and certain words had different meanings and so on and so on
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Why had he told her? Perhaps because he knew implicitly that he could trust her with his life. Or perhaps because she looked at him with such piercing intelligence that he knew that no other explanation than the truth could convince her. Even so, he had not told her half of it, for even she would have thought him mad
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You're very good at this. Practice a little more, so it doesn't sound memorized, and speeches like that will make your fortune, I promise you
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She will look at you as women look at men, and she will judge you as women judge men - not on the strength of their arguments, and not on their cleverness or prowess in battle, but rather on the force of their character, the intensity of their passion, the strength of their soul, their compassion, and - ah, this above all - their conversation
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He may be white, but he's still a man. Men always think they know the right thing, and so they don't listen
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I don't know you You don't know anything
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What do I tell him? Tell him that I will see him. She was startled. She was confused. She abandoned words, and sang her confusion. The song was meek and uncontrolled, for she would never be a master, not even a teacher, but wordlessly she asked Nniv why he would even listen to such a man, why he would risk have the rest of mankind think, the songhouse treats all men alike, judging only on merit, not on power - except for Mikal.
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Ansset did not understand the words, but the tone of voice was clear. He understood the tone of voice instinctively, as he always had; it was his greatest gift, to know emotions even better than the person feeling them
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Do you talk to your mistress like this? Like what? With utter honesty? Yes Impudently? Honesty always sounds like impudence to the vain and stupid
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Am I a sacred calf, and you a pagan to dance around me? I'm no pagan, papa. I'm just : exuberant I should have never taught Zeforah to read, if she's going to teach you words that the village boys don't understand
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What is this thing between women, like men are a joke that woman all told each other long ago but men never get it.
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He just has no sense of tact, he never has
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The answer was so obvious to her that she clearly didn't understand a word he was saying
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I hate it when you say things you've been practicing up to say
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Catholics will see anything that can talk as a baptizable person.
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Many who were listening felt a vague disquiet. They had expected oration. Instead the Speaker's voice was nothing remarkable. And his words had none of the formality of religious speech. Plain, simple, almost conversational. Only a few of them noticed that its very simplicity made his voice, his speech utterly believable. He wasn't telling the Truth, with trumpets; he was telling the truth, the story that you wouldn't think to doubt because it's taken for granted.
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Fiction is a very poor tool for conversion, because if I label it as fiction then I'm telling you it's a pack of lies from the very start.
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When you decide to hide something from me, will you at least tell me that aren't going to tell me?
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Her action ... meant one thing to him and something quite different to her; it was so different that it was not even the same event.
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And it came into Hooch's mind that when both parties are lying and they both know the other party's lying, it comes powerful close to being the same thing as telling the truth. -Red Prophet
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Tell the story plainly and clearly.
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Among my most prized possessions are the words that I have never spoken.
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Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space.