We ain't like no show on the KY-Jelly!

I bought a candy bar from the mongoloid here at the airport and I'll convert to being a Presbyterian if I can get a crop duster out of here.

Oh, no, not the face, Phil. I have a photo shoot for Campbell's Soup this afternoon!

If you don't want to see people flopping around like fish in the aisles and out on the sticky floors of these movie theaters, then I would suggest that people …

(when walking to his dressing room) 'Fibber McGee... and Molly. Burns... And Allen. Lady and... Here's mine.'

This is what I give. I give an expression of care every day to each child, to help him realize that he is unique. I end each program by saying, 'You've made th…

When television is good, nothing--not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers--nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite y…