AND WHY AM I SHOUTING, by the way? I'LL TELL YOU WHY, IT'S BECAUSE IT'S THE NEXT BEST THING TO HAVING A SHOW!

Why can't I beat a woman bloody and be able to walk away from it with a clear conscience without coming down with a case of the drip the following morning?

Hey folks, it's Comb-Over. Now listen; I know it gets lonely. Well right now, you can buy the Comb-Over blow-up doll, it looks just like ME! Why have sex with …

Is there anything worse than a woman with a kid?