Quote #30

[as a stoned NASA scientist] Okay, okay check this out. The Mars lander...I did the calculations in feet...but I programmed it in meters! Oops! So instead of landing, fucker buried! 180 million dollar, whoopsie! Two years, SPLAT! Oh, oh, this is great, this is, shh, shh...the Hubble telescope...I forgot to put in the lens! *covers one eye* 'Read the top line for me?' 'Uh, Alpha Centauri, uh...Sirius, the rest is just a black hole!'

More from Robin Williams

  1. The Confederate Flag is just a symbol of states rights... Yeah, and the Swastika is just a Tibetan good luck charm, c'mon now.
  2. When did Ted Kennedy become Jabba The Hutt? He's huge! You're a Kennedy, not a Macy's Day float. 'Bring him down! We're voting!'
  3. And at the closing ceremonies, they introduced Donny and Marie as the first couple of Utah. And I'm like 'uh-uh, honey, no. They're only a …
  4. Russia has the Bomb. We have many bombs. We don't know where they all are. Maybe you want a dirty bomb.
  5. Winston Churchill, the greatest orator of all time, was so fucked up on champagne and cognac, that he may not have done some of his own spe…
  6. [In a French Accent] The French are one of few people left who still have underground nuclear testing where do they do it? In the Sahara a …
  7. It was so reassuring the other day, George W. Bush talked to the stock market, and then...*makes explosion noise*. I don't know, it must be…
  8. 'Cause they've got 'The Chamber', 'The Chair', 'Fear Factor', and people in Texas are saying, 'We got those shows. We just don't film 'em!'

All Robin Williams quotes