And at the closing ceremonies, they introduced Donny and Marie as the first couple of Utah. And I'm like 'uh-uh, honey, no. They're only a couple in Arkansas!'

Winston Churchill, the greatest orator of all time, was so fucked up on champagne and cognac, that he may not have done some of his own speeches. They were don…

The Confederate Flag is just a symbol of states rights... Yeah, and the Swastika is just a Tibetan good luck charm, c'mon now.

It was so reassuring the other day, George W. Bush talked to the stock market, and then...*makes explosion noise*. I don't know, it must be that Dubya talking …

Man is the nobler growth our realms supply, And souls are ripened in our northern sky.

Je voudrais, un jour, avoir un nom si connu, si populaire, si celebre, si glorieux enfin, qu'il m'authorisat, a p[eter] dans le monde, et que le monde trouvat …

East is East, and West is San Francisco, according to Californians. Californians are a race of people; they are not merely inhabitants of a State.