(from the CD of the tour) Because your appliances are now talking to each other...about you. You don't wanna be three o'clock in the morning going, 'Yes, refrigerator, open please.' (as the refrigerator) 'No, Robin, I've talked to the scale and your ass is huge.' (as himself) 'Refrigerator, Haagen-Dazs, override, code 3.0?' (as the refrigerator) 'No, Robin, 'til you've logged 2.2 hours on the treadmoil.' The 'treadmoil,' which is a really hard thing - That's where you can actually run and be circumcised!! Wow! There's a product for the Jewish man on the go! A treadmoil! Can you believe it?! I'm losing weight and losing my foreskin at the same time!! Call now for Peal's Pocket Treadmoil!

Is it me or are cats drag queens? With the way they just go (flaunts bottom), 'Who loves kitty? Ya love kitty? Are these your shoes? (retches) Who loves kitty?…

(also from the album) When you're sixteen, you're invincible. When you're 18, you're invincible and know every fucking thing. You fall in love for the first ti…

Some of the bombs were little yellow bombs, and some of the little food packages were little yellow packages. Now you're playing survivor the real game. 'Um, B…

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...then I put wax in the humidifier...now my room…

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using…

I think that it's extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing. When it started out, it was an awful lot of fun. Of course, the …