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Quote #4

A hooker told me 'Not on the first date.'

— Rodney Dangerfield

More from Rodney Dangerfield

  1. A girl called me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
  2. Are you kiddin'? I know I'm ugly. My mother breast-fed me through a straw.
  3. You know my Doctor, Doctor Vinny BoomBots... I called and told him I had a bad case of diarrhea. - He put me on hold!
  4. My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.
  5. I don't get no respect!!!
  6. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
  7. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  8. I drink too much. Way too much. I gave a urine sample, there was an olive in it.

All Rodney Dangerfield quotes

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Topics in this quote

  • relationships
  • rejection
  • time

Related authors

  • Orson Scott Card
  • Phil Hendrie
  • Steven Wright
  • P. G. Wodehouse
  • Woody Allen
  • Groucho Marx

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