He [Mark Twain] spoke of humor, and thought it must be one of the chief attributes of God. He cited plants and animals that were distinctly humorous in form and in their characteristics. These he declared were God's jokes.

Herodotus says, 'Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects'.

There has never been a just one, never an honorable one -- on the part of the instigator of the war. I can see a million years ahead, and this rule will never …

Citizenship? We have none! In place of it we teach patriotism which Samuel Johnson said a hundred and forty or a hundred and fifty years ago was the last refug…

i met a toad the other day by the name of warty bliggens he was sitting under a toadstool feeling contented he explained that when the cosmos was created that …

I have seen these ways of God: I know of no reason For fire and change and torture and the old returnings.

Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night; God said 'Let Newton be' and all was light.