I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

I have found solace in profanity unexcelled even by prayer.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.

One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.

I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to mys…