When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. (Sometimes quoted as newspapers.)

They did not know it was impossible, so they did it!

It scares the shit out of me because I see my nieces and nephews growing up and it's fucking hard. It was hard for me to grow up and it's even harder now with …

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.

[My childhood] was strange, though then again, it was normal to us. It wasn't until I started going to other kids' houses and hanging out, having dinner, seein…