More from Stephen Colbert

  1. Well, I thought it was funny.
  2. It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
  3. While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.
  4. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
  5. Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be…
  6. Before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from t…
  7. We worked very hard to keep him from being a jerk by keeping in mind he's well intentioned. Just poorly informed. He wants to do the right …
  8. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.

All Stephen Colbert quotes