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Steven Wright
Quote #106
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
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I'm going to court next week. I've been selected for jury duty. It's kind of an insane case -- 6000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Ch…
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.
I'm a very difficult size to shop for; I'm an extra-medium.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. When it's finished I'm going to sue myself.
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think…
Imagine how deep the sea would be if there weren't any sponges.
I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose.
In my new house there's a switch on the wall that doesn't do anything, so for fun I'd just flick it up and down, over and over. Then one da…
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