Quote #110

In my new house there's a switch on the wall that doesn't do anything, so for fun I'd just flick it up and down, over and over. Then one day I got a letter from a woman in Germany. It just said, 'Cut it out.'

More from Steven Wright

  1. Imagine how deep the sea would be if there weren't any sponges.
  2. I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas. I just think about it.
  3. I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. When it's finished I'm going to sue myself.
  4. I've been getting into astronomy, so I installed a skylight. The people that live above me are furious.
  5. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.
  6. It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it...
  7. I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
  8. Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

All Steven Wright quotes