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Steven Wright
Quote #14
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
More from Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Do you think when they asked George Washington for his ID, he just pulled out a quarter?
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come …
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...[slow gl…
All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...then I put wax in the humi…
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