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Steven Wright
Quote #13
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
More from Steven Wright
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Do you think when they asked George Washington for his ID, he just pulled out a quarter?
All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come …
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried …
For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...[slow gl…
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