Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, 'So. What did you think?'

Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, 'Hello?' and I said, 'Hello, could I speak to Joey?'... They said, 'Uh... I don't think so...he's only …

What is our life but a succession of preludes to that unknown song whose first solemn note is sounded by death?

A warrior must learn to make every act count, since he is going to be here in this world for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marv…

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.