I said to one of them, 'Look after the baby, I've got washing,' because we've got washable nappies. I said, 'Look after the baby. Entertain her, do some words,' because she's saying words, 'Do any words.' So I came back after I scrapped all the stuff off, and he was going, 'Say, 'Wigan Athletic!''

When I came to faith, I thought I would have to stop being an actor, because it's all about artifice and manipulation. But we're living in a world where God do…

'Oh, nobody would ever want to know me in Hollywood. I'm far too puffin-faced for that, too weird-looking. No, I think I'll probably stick to telly, if telly'l…

Is that what he said? Is that what he said? He can talk! No, it's true. I'm terrible. Do you know what? I've got quite an easy job. I've just got to look at pe…

There are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

There are only two things a child will share willingly- communicable diseases and his mother's age.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.