17 The Rock Quotes on Rivalry

The Rock quotes on rivalry

6. Hold the mic up, jabroni, before The Rock slaps the taste out of your mouth! You *referring to Stone Cold Steve Austin* come out here and you spit your little talk about how the Rock comes out and spits his little nursery rhymes. Well, I'll tell you what, the Great One has a little nursery rhyme for you, Stone Cold, and it goes like this: Mary had a little lamb... Well, I'll tell you what, piss on the lamb, piss on Mary, and piss on you! The Rock is gonna go out there tonight and do what do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody-poo *crowd finishes it for him by saying 'candy ass'* - Uh uh! Hey! Don't do it! Don't do it, because the Rock guaran-damn-tees to prove to you *points to audience*, you *points to interviewer*, this goof holding the camera, this chick gawking at the Rock, he will prove to the millions *crowd finishes it for him* and millions of the Rock's fans exactly why the Rock is the Great One, exactly why the Rock is the chosen one, and exactly why the Rock is without a shadow of a doubt the best damn WWF champ there ever was, if you smelllllll *crowd says 'smell' along with him* - Hey! Uh uh Philly! This ain't sing-a-long with the champ! If ya smelllllalalalalow what the Rock... *The Rock pauses very theatrically, lifts a hand to his face, uses it to turn his head to the side, pushes his chin down, and cocks the People's Eyebrow* ...is cooking!

7. Stone Cold Steve Austin... The Rock knows how much you like to drink. So The Rock is offering you a couple of drinks tonight. The drinks are on The Great One. But here's a stipulation, Austin: The Rock says don't get drunk and pass out, or else you'll wake up with The Rock's fist in your mouth, and his foot up your ass!

8. 'Undertaker, do you think you impress The Rock by coming out here with your little Undertaker symbol and claim to steal the souls of all those jabronis? Do you think you impress The Rock by taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head? Well, The Rock says, if you really wanna impress The Rock, then you will come to King of the Ring and you will put the WWF Title on the line and go one on one with the Great One! And Undertaker, when the Great One's music hits: 'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking', and 20,000 asses are standing on their feet with goosebumps running through their body, all chanting The Rock's name, 'Rocky, Rocky'' *crowd starts chanting his name* 'then, Undertaker, you bring your monkey ass to the people's ring and you come and you try to sacrifice The People's Champ. But here's the twist: instead, Undertaker, of taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head, The Rock says that take your entire thirty-three pound head, turn it backwards like The Exorcist, have it roll down your back, catch it with both your hands. And then, Undertaker, The Rock says, take your own head and proceed to shove it directly up your candy ass!'

13. 'And you walk down the Rock's ramp and you step over the top rope, like that's supposed to impress somebody! And then, Big Show, you do something that is, without the shadow of a doubt, the most impressive thing the Rock's seen, and that's this-- (lifts hand in the air, Big Show-style and moans) huuuaaaagh!'

17. *The Rock puts his t-shirt over Michael Cole's face* You keep your head right there, jabroni! Don't move The Rock's electrifying t-shirt. The Rock says this. *turns to Michael Cole* The Rock said don't move your head! Undertaker, you talk about The Rock! You run your mouth about The Rock and like you've just unturned a stone. You've turned over a stone that's never been turned over before, on how The Rock writes checks that his ass can't cash because The Rock talks trash! Like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash! The Rock lives, breathes, talks trash all day long! *removes sunglasses* As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock... As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock talks trash in his sleep. Just like this... *closes eyes and says in sleepy voice* roody poo candy ah... layeth the smacketh down on your candy... know your role... *opens eyes and snaps out of sleepy mode* The fact of the matter is this, Undertaker... *puts sunglasses back on* ...Is that tonight, and you and Big Show, it doesn't matter who it is because whether it is here tonight, or whether it is at Unforgiven, every damn night of the week, if you shut your mouth, *points in another direction* you shut your mouth, this goof holding the camera shut his mouth, *points in another direction* this chick gawking at The Rock shut her mouth... *points at Mankind* You be quiet, *points at Michael Cole* you too! Shh, shh, shh! If you listen, all The Rock's fans are chanting his name. *Fan's chant 'Rocky! Rocky!'* *Mankind starts chanting 'Rocky!' with the crowd, and The Rock points at him to stop him* Eh-eh! *points at Michael Cole* Keep your head still, jabroni! The Rock says this, is that tonight, he's gonna do one thing and that is lay the smackdown on your ROO-DY POO *crowd finishes it by chanting 'CANDY ASS'* if you smell what The Rock is cookin'!

20. 'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

25. It sounds to 'The Great One' that 15,000 of The Rock's fans are callin' you a slut!

34. Just so The Rock understands this, you're the WCW Champion Sucker?

49. You know, Brock Lesnar, you wanna play games with The Rock? Ya think you wanna play mind games, is that what you wanna do? You think you're real smart, Brock Lesnar, why, because you came down here and you brought yourself a front row ticket? You and that big fat walrus so he could cheer you on? But you see, you're real smart, Brock, 'cause you do have a front row ticket, but you've also got another ticket, and that's to a big brahma bull ass whoopin', not yesterday, no no no no no, no no, no no no no no no, no, the ass whoopin' is not yesterday, it's not tomorrow, the brahma bull ass whoopin' is toinght! - promo on Brock Lesnar on the August 12, edition of Raw in Seattle

53. There is only one true Superstar of the Decade, true Superstar of the Millenium! You know who that is? The Rock'll tell you who that is! Toronto, that is - the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising, stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada because the Maple Leaf sucks!

57. Ever since The Rock came in town Everybody's tried to bring him down Canadians have no class That's why they can kiss the People's ass!

58. You take it easy, Bill Goldberg. You take it easy, I tell you what... The Rock knows that you're nervous about this Sunday at Backlash, okay The Rock don't blame you! Cause you know The Rock is just gonna slap the taste outta your mouth this Sunday at Backlash, Bill Goldberg, you know that right? You know that, ol' gigglepanties, don't look at The Rock like that!

59. The Rock went down to Georgia Gettin' all these rants and raves Cause the people knew that if it was true Goldberg would choke just like the Braves! Now hold on, don't boo, you appreciate that one, you know you appreciate that one! Here we go, it goes like this, second verse! So when The Rock finally found Goldberg Breathing hard and full of gas Goldberg said 'You're next!', The Rock said 'Oh yeah, Shove it right up your candy ass!' Hey hey Bill Goldberg, don't get mad, don't get mad! Cause this is the chorus, here it goes... The Rock is the great one, run Goldberg run The Rock's got it all and you've got none Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough Your town's a joke and your momma's a ho! Hey, don't you get mad, Bill Goldberg, don't get mad. Stomp your feet, clap your hands, cause your momma's a big fat ho dammit!

62. Yo, listen! The Rock knows who you are! He knows who you are! 3rd generation wrestler! Yeah yeah! As a matter of fact, The Rock remembers very distinctly: Long time ago, remember meeting your daddy - 'Cowboy' Bob Orton, yeah, with the cast on his hand, I remember that! And I also remember some cat named 'Soulman' Rocky Johnson whuppin' your daddy's ass!! No, wait a minute, no, it keeps goin' back! Your granddaddy, Bob Orton, Senior! The Rock's granddaddy, 'High Chief' Peter Maivia layin' Samoan Smackdown on his monkey (says next word off-mic) ass! Oh even back, way back more than that! Your big fat ass grandmammy, your mammy, they all complained! Hell, The Rock's grandmama, his mama right there slapped the lips of all two them bitches! (Orton comments on how all the hometown fans can chant The Rock's name, but they know who 'The Man' is, referring to himself) I tell you what, the Rock even remembers you! I remember you! I remember you, how 'bout the gerbil? Do you remember the gerbil? Don't forget - (Orton comments on how they never knew each other as kids and doesn't remember the gerbil) Wait, wait, that's funny. We never knew each other as a kid? Well, let the Rock remind you. The Rock remembers in the locker room, your old man, sittin' there, callin' The Rock over: (changes to a pseudo-Bob Orton voice) 'Hey Dwayne! I want you to meet my son. There's Randy Orton!' (changes his voice back to normal) I remember that! I remember looking at you sittin' there picking your nose, wipin' it on your shirt. And of all things, of all things, you were sittin' in the locker room, sittin' in the locker room playin' with a My Lil' (trails off because he didn't want to say 'little') Pretty Pony! (Orton comments on how he never had with a Pretty Pony) You never had a Pretty Pony, you never had a Pretty Pony? (An exasperated Orton says it was his sister's, now is embarrassed in front of the Rock and the Miami crowd) Oh the Rock remembers! Oh yeah yeah, and then your dad calls me over, says, 'Here, this is my son!' I went to shake your hand, 'Hey man, how ya doin'?' (voiced as a child Randy) 'You don't! Don't! This is MY Pretty Pony! Don't touch my Pretty Pony!' You remember that? (Randy tries to say no) And then, and then- Shut your mouth! And then you just ran! You ran! You ran right by Andre the Giant, right by Junkyard Dog, smack dab, right in the middle of King Kong Bundy's ball sac! And I was laughin'! I was laughin'- (addresses an audience member) Hold on! We're not done! (To Orton) I was laughin' my ass off! And you were sittin' there and your dad was like, (Bob Orton Voice) 'Hey Dwayne, don't laugh! One day my son's going to be great.' (To Orton) I looked up at your dad and I said, 'Oh, no, Mr. Orton-' I called him 'Mr. Orton' 'cause I respect him, 'Mr. Orton, actually, one day, I'm gonna whup your son's candy ass!' - The Rock to Randy Orton in response to Orton interrupting The Rock's interaction with the Miami crowd.

67. The Rock: '(to the Dudleyz) Who are you two roody poos?'

72. The Undertaker cuts a promo to The Rock. Here is the opening line of The Undertaker's promo: 'Listen young man, and I do mean young.' Here is the ending line of The Undertaker's promo: 'I am going to take you to the learning tree!' A couple nights later on RAW, The Rock responds to Undertaker's promo: 'Undertaker, you run your mouth about how you're going to take The Rock to the learning tree. Well, you're not going to have to drag The Rock to the learning tree. The Rock will gladly go to the learning tree with you. And then he'll pause once we get there. He'll reach up and break off a branch, And he'll pick each and every leaf off of that branch. Then he'll turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candyass!'

79. Wrestlemania XV, the Brahma Bull against the Rattlesnake. It does not get any better than that. Stone Cold Steve Austin, as far as the The Rock is concerned, the greatest book ever written is entitled 'The Brahma Bull vs. The Rattlesnake.' And the beauty of this novel is that it has infinite chapters. Which means it never ends. It also means, for the rest of your natural life, The Rock will be kicking your monkey crap ass all over God's Green Earth... And when it's all said and done, all the smoke has cleared, and the millions and the millions of The Rock's fans have finished chanting his name... and you and The Rock float up to that big World Wrestling Federation ring in the sky, and you extend your hand and say, 'Hey Rock, thanks for the memories...' don't be surprised if The Rock looks at you, raises The People's Eyebrow, shakes your hand right back and says, 'No, Stone Cold... thank you for the memories.' And then, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock will take his other hand and slap the tase right out of your mouth for being the biggest piece of Trailer Park Trash walking God's Blue Heaven!