The best that can be said for Norwegian television is that it gives you the sensation of a coma without the worry and inconvenience.

We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls. [Copenhagen]

You have three chromosomes, Bryson. X, Y, and Fuckhead.

Much of the tablecloth was a series of grey smudges outlined in a large, irregular patch of yellow that looked distressingly like a urine stain.

Here's the problem with TV. All people on TV are TV people, and TV people are dumber than the dumbest guys you went to high school with, they just dress better.

So I bought a .44 magnum it was solid steel cast And in the blessed name of Elvis well I just let it blast 'Til my TV lay in pieces there at my feet And they b…

It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavours look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side …