It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavours look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. I don't wish to denigrate a sport that is enjoyed by millions, some of them awake and facing the right way, but it is an odd game.

After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind), I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of g…

Above all, what is oddest to the outsider is that Aborigines just aren't there.

Every dog on the face of the earth wants me dead.

'Why do people sing Take Me Out to The Ballgame when they're already there?'

The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complic…

Fan is short for fanatic - he's crazy about something he really doesn't know about. And it's proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they're …