'And then Ed Bradly looked right at the camera and said 'Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back.'

(Talking about the Clinton/ Lewinsky scandal)'Busy men fuck who's close to them. Its like Clinton just stuck his head out the door, 'You! You, get in here. Get…

'I know every girl in here got a dick they regret. And I bet you it wasn't a President's dick. I bet he worked at Kenny's Shoes or Safeway or somethin like tha…

'Like see I'd never vote for George Bush junior, but I don't know anything about his politics. All I know about that George Bush junior is that that guy sniffe…

This is The Tonight Show. I can't tell you too much about it, other than the fact that this program is going to go on forever.

Stately as a galleon, I sail across the floor, Doing the military two-step, as in the days of yore.

Nobody and nothing beats The Simpsons. Even after all this time, it's still the best satire since Monty Python.