Please excuse me if it seems I'm throwing a little tantrum, but I can't get a microphone that fucking works.

[On Pink Floyd] Maybe I never gave them a chance. But when I grew up, hippies listened to Pink Floyd! And I just can't ever get over that. I can't deny my root…

I don't think there's such a thing as a happy teenager.

If you're gonna come up here and sing with me, don't sing the wrong words in my ear because that really fucks me up.

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using…

I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was 'HH', so I went to the side, I found the 'H' button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chi…

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.