When she and Clare Boothe Luce were entering a room, Clare hung back, saying, 'Age before beauty'; Dorothy entered saying 'Pearls before swine.'

Gee Moss, imagine what God could do if he had your money

If you want to know what the Lord God thinks of money, just look at those to whom he gives it.

Tallulah Bankhead: 'Why, it's as easy as ducking for apples.' Dorothy Parker: 'Hah, change one letter in that sentence and you've got the story of my life.'

WC: 'Is it true your father was a gate-leg table?' McCarthy: 'If he was, then your father was under it!' (from a radio show)

Excuse me, but I have to say this. You are more stupid than a paramecium.

A glittering jewel of colossal ignorance.