Skip to content
quotesby

183 Insult Quotes

from 77 authors

Short insult quotes

  1. What goes 0-300 in less than 2 seconds? Your mother on a scale.

    Alex TrebekAlex Trebek quote #2
  2. The only thing you find in the middle of the road are dead animals and dumb Americans.

    Anton NewcombeAnton Newcombe quote #11
  3. You have sent me a Flanders mare.

    Henry VIII of EnglandHenry VIII of England quote #4
  4. Oppression is more easily endured than insult.

    JuniusJunius quote #18
  5. The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting.

    Carolyn HeilbrunCarolyn Heilbrun quote #2
  6. 'To say 'we' and mean 'I' is one of the most recondite insults.'

    Theodor AdornoTheodor Adorno quote #123
  7. Who is this roody-poo?

    The RockThe Rock quote #89
  8. a politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man

    E. E. CummingsE. E. Cummings quote #26

More insult quotes

  1. Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

    The RockThe Rock quote #40
  2. Look at The Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a crap, and out came Mankind!

    The RockThe Rock quote #5
  3. The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if ya'll don't like me you can kiss the people's ass!

    The RockThe Rock quote #60
  4. Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head.

    Muhammad AliMuhammad Ali quote #18
  5. Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

    Dwayne (The Rock) JohnsonDwayne (The Rock) Johnson quote #40
  6. This song is dedicated to Frank Zappa, and River Phoenix, Fred Gwynne who played Herman Munster, Dixie Lee Ray, Thomas P, Tip O'Neil, and you, dumb ass, who just threw water on me. (01/07/94 at Seattle Center Arena, Seattle, Washington)

    Kurt Donald CobainKurt Donald Cobain quote #98
  7. He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath

    Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill quote #129
  8. No wonder you guys lost.

    Ann CoulterAnn Coulter quote #102
  9. On Jerry Falwell: If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.

    Christopher HitchensChristopher Hitchens quote #73
  10. Go back to Supercuts and get your $5 back, jabroni.

    Dwayne (The Rock) JohnsonDwayne (The Rock) Johnson quote #27
  11. Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife.

    Muhammad AliMuhammad Ali quote #19
  12. I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born.

    Rodney DangerfieldRodney Dangerfield quote #54
  13. Asking a man if he could be trusted was like asking an unwed girl if she was a virgin. The question mattered, but the asking of it was a gross insult

    Orson Scott CardOrson Scott Card quote #604
  14. So whether it's you Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's Daddy, Chris Jericho's MaMa, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye or maybe it's Grandpa Jimmy Jack Jericho with the iron lung, or hell, it might be even Grandma Jessebelle Jericho with the XX30 panties!

    The RockThe Rock quote #11
  15. If you wouldn't mind, Coach, The Rock would like to do something special with that whistle. The Rock would like to take that whistle you got, that very whistle you just put to your lips, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!'

    The RockThe Rock quote #21
  16. THE ROCK: 'Before you come in here and start putting little stickers on the Rock's shirt and putting little streamers all over the Rock, the Rock just wants to know-- what is your name?' CLOWN: 'I'm--' ROCK: 'It doesn't MATTER what your name is!' MANKIND: 'Hey, hold it right there! It certainly does matter what her name is, and I'll tell you why! I tried real hard and I went to a lot of expense and time and effort to make this night real special for you! And one by one, you're going to insult my guests and make this night a bad night for me? Sometimes I think you're a very ungrateful little man, Rock!'

    The RockThe Rock quote #23
  17. 'Naturally, The Rock is appreciative to all of his fans, but to you...The Rock's birthday's May second, you stupid son of a bitch!'

    The RockThe Rock quote #24
  18. The Rock has but one thing to say (turns his head). Somebody got a haircut. That's right Big Show, you are no longer a long-haired 7ft 500lb piece of monkeycrap, you are now a short-haired 7ft 500lb piece of stinky Grade-A monkeycrap.

    The RockThe Rock quote #26
  19. Go back to Supercuts and get your $5 back, jabroni.

    The RockThe Rock quote #27
  20. The Rock could just imagine what you were like in High School! The oldest 27 year old senior the world has ever seen! Standing outside your house with your momma, and that short little yellow bus pulling up in front - beep beep, beep beep, beep beep! You just walk in on the bus, go into class, get inside the classroom, teacher up on the blackboard 'Ok class, what is 2 + 2? Do you know Booker?' 'Oh yeah I know the answer to that, 2 + 2? Thomas Jefferson, sucka!'

    The RockThe Rock quote #36
  21. On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.

    The RockThe Rock quote #39
  22. There is only one true Superstar of the Decade, true Superstar of the Millenium! You know who that is? The Rock'll tell you who that is! Toronto, that is - the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising, stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada because the Maple Leaf sucks!

    The RockThe Rock quote #53
  23. Arrest his green ass. Get him out of here. Get his green monkey ass out of here. Hey, arrest him, he's guilty of shoving Chicken McNuggets straight up his ass, arrest him.

    The RockThe Rock quote #55
  24. Ever since The Rock came in town Everybody's tried to bring him down Canadians have no class That's why they can kiss the People's ass!

    The RockThe Rock quote #57
  25. The Rock: '(to the Dudleyz) Who are you two roody poos?'

    The RockThe Rock quote #67
  26. Kurt Angle, you think you're really special because you've cashed in on the services of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, a two dollar no, a fifty cent no, buy two get one free does any one have change for a nickel skank ass slut?

    The RockThe Rock quote #113
  27. Undertaker, you think your Mickey Mouse tattoos impress the Rock?

    The RockThe Rock quote #114
  28. Try the chicken nuggets, you fat sumbitch! (to Rosey)

    The RockThe Rock quote #116
  29. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.

    Jacob CohenJacob Cohen quote #41
  30. (Describing his son-in-law's family) The family's so ugly, in the photo album, they keep the negatives!

    Jacob CohenJacob Cohen quote #61
  31. 'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

    Dwayne (The Rock) JohnsonDwayne (The Rock) Johnson quote #20
  32. 'Hello, ya sick, twisted freak(s).'

    Glenn BeckGlenn Beck quote #24
  33. You whore! We're 800 miles off of course!

    Phil HendriePhil Hendrie quote #306
  34. (to Bobbie Dooley) Lady, you're crazy, and your husband's crazy. Hooray for you with your big house. You would've been laying up in that big house on crutches if you'd've touched me. I'd a made mud out yo ass.

    Phil HendriePhil Hendrie quote #387
  35. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

    Jacob CohenJacob Cohen quote #36
  36. You crazy, Joe Rogan!

    Dave ChappelleDave Chappelle quote #13
  37. You Sick Freak!

    Dwayne (The Rock) JohnsonDwayne (The Rock) Johnson quote #108
  38. Don't call me stupid!

    Kevin KlineKevin Kline quote #7
  39. Petain in petticoats.

    Margaret ThatcherMargaret Thatcher quote #114
  40. You scorpion woman.

    Will FerrellWill Ferrell quote #17
  41. 'You're a corporate whore, Merry Christmas.'

    Scott R. KurtzScott R. Kurtz quote #3
  42. They'd be retarded.

    Jason CastroJason Castro quote #15
  43. Roody-poo candy ass

    The RockThe Rock quote #100
  44. Hold the mic up, jabroni, before The Rock slaps the taste out of your mouth! You *referring to Stone Cold Steve Austin* come out here and you spit your little talk about how the Rock comes out and spits his little nursery rhymes. Well, I'll tell you what, the Great One has a little nursery rhyme for you, Stone Cold, and it goes like this: Mary had a little lamb... Well, I'll tell you what, piss on the lamb, piss on Mary, and piss on you! The Rock is gonna go out there tonight and do what do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody-poo *crowd finishes it for him by saying 'candy ass'* - Uh uh! Hey! Don't do it! Don't do it, because the Rock guaran-damn-tees to prove to you *points to audience*, you *points to interviewer*, this goof holding the camera, this chick gawking at the Rock, he will prove to the millions *crowd finishes it for him* and millions of the Rock's fans exactly why the Rock is the Great One, exactly why the Rock is the chosen one, and exactly why the Rock is without a shadow of a doubt the best damn WWF champ there ever was, if you smelllllll *crowd says 'smell' along with him* - Hey! Uh uh Philly! This ain't sing-a-long with the champ! If ya smelllllalalalalow what the Rock... *The Rock pauses very theatrically, lifts a hand to his face, uses it to turn his head to the side, pushes his chin down, and cocks the People's Eyebrow* ...is cooking!

    Dwayne (The Rock) JohnsonDwayne (The Rock) Johnson quote #6
  45. a waste of skin

    Jimmy CarterJimmy Carter quote #61
  46. To add insult to injury

    PhaedrusPhaedrus quote #6
  47. Jabroni!

    The RockThe Rock quote #93
  48. Rush Limbaugh is a Scat muncher. He munches Scat!

    Bill HicksBill Hicks quote #67
  49. To General Jacques Massu : Alors Massu, toujours aussi con ? (So, Massu, still that stupid?)

    Charles de GaulleCharles de Gaulle quote #37
  50. When she and Clare Boothe Luce were entering a room, Clare hung back, saying, 'Age before beauty'; Dorothy entered saying 'Pearls before swine.'

    Dorothy ParkerDorothy Parker quote #43
  51. Bloody silly fool! (1997)

    Duke of Edinburgh PhilipDuke of Edinburgh Philip quote #40
  52. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

    Groucho MarxGroucho Marx quote #12
  53. You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

    Groucho MarxGroucho Marx quote #31
  54. The Indians are bastards.

    Henry KissingerHenry Kissinger quote #46
  55. He who is affected by an insult is infected by it.

    Jean CocteauJean Cocteau quote #67
  56. What's up, baby? What's up, sluts?

    Kevin SmithKevin Smith quote #8
  57. The sign! On the back of the car! Said 'Critters of Hollywood'! You dumb fuck!

    Kevin SmithKevin Smith quote #28
  58. Italy: '...they are indeed a repulsive nation these dagoes, both the men and the women & I'm just longing to quit them for good & all !!!' (18 September 1918)

    King of England Edward VIIIKing of England Edward VIII quote #9
  59. Qu'Appelle Valley, Saskatchewan, Canadian Indians: 'I've told you what a foul decadent lazy crowd they are & what I think of them !! But this camp is pitched right inside an Indian reserve ... & we have hundreds of the mouldy local tribe camped around us' (6 October 1919)

    King of England Edward VIIIKing of England Edward VIII quote #12
  60. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

    Mae WestMae West quote #20
  61. 'Squeal like a pig, chump!'

    Matt HysonMatt Hyson quote #6
  62. Ah, tenez, vous etes de la merde dans un bas de soie.

    Napoleon BonaparteNapoleon Bonaparte quote #54
  63. I'd always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn't even put her in the oven.

    P. G. WodehouseP. G. Wodehouse quote #171
  64. 'Stinko, is he?' 'Not perhaps stinko, but certainly effervescent.'

    P. G. WodehouseP. G. Wodehouse quote #174
  65. Like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades.

    Paul KeatingPaul Keating quote #31
  66. You boxhead you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten.

    Paul KeatingPaul Keating quote #51
  67. To a gentleman, who, at the close of a fierce dispute with Porson, exclaimed, 'My opinion of you is most contemptible, Sir'; he retorted, 'I never knew an opinion of yours that was not contemptible.'

    Richard PorsonRichard Porson quote #1
  68. 'I got something I wanna make clear right now. Because of the censors, I can't use the word I'd like to use, so I'll use a word that rhymes with it-I spit on the life, the career, and the family of Bret 'The Hitman' Hart; and if his parents had been smart enough to practice safe sex some thirty years ago, I wouldn't be dealing with him right now.

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #4
  69. 'You come out here and say this is an order and that's an order! Hell, I can look at you son and the only thing you've been ordering is a whole bunch of damn cheeseburgers!' (to Sgt. Slaughter)

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #8
  70. 'I'll toss you out on your ass, you sorry piece of trash!'

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #13
  71. 'I'll put my roody-poo foot up his roody-poo ass!' (about The Rock)

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #17
  72. 'Pricecheck on jackass!!' (To Booker T after beating him up in a grocery store.)

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #22
  73. 'I'm calling you a creepy little bastard because you creep me out!' (To Christian)

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #23
  74. 'I don't know about 'Humanitarian of the Year,' Vince, but if you think it should be 'Jackass of the Year,' gimme a hell yeah!'

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #27
  75. 'You little mealy mouthed bastard.'

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #28
  76. 'Since you're a piece of crap, I challenge you to flush yourself down the commode.'

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #29
  77. 'It's funny your Dad always talks about having balls the size of grapefruits, but I think you might be the balls of the family.' (to Stephanie McMahon)

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #34
  78. 'Put an 'S' before Hitman and thats what I think about Bret Hart'

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #36
  79. 'Dont worry about putting on your little black and pink tights because they look like crap anyway.'(Auston calling Brett Hart out)

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #42
  80. Jabroni!

    Dwayne (The Rock) JohnsonDwayne (The Rock) Johnson quote #93
  81. Jack has no more hair than an elbow. ~ Fred Allen

    Jack BennyJack Benny quote #101
  82. He is so anemic that if he stays out at night, he has to get a transfusion so his eyes will be bloodshot in the morning. ~ Fred Allen

    Jack BennyJack Benny quote #104
  83. YOU are the lowest form.

    Gene RayGene Ray quote #9
  84. Fly Fatass! Fly!

    Kevin SmithKevin Smith quote #16
  85. An abacus gone feral.

    Paul KeatingPaul Keating quote #32
  86. 'Jackass!'

    Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin quote #12
  87. Bologna tits

    Jerky BoysJerky Boys quote #28
  88. Liver lips

    Jerky BoysJerky Boys quote #31