Quote #41

My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.
  2. My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
  3. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go…
  4. That's the story of my life, no respect, ya know?
  5. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  6. The other night I told my kid 'Someday, you'll have children of your own.' He said 'So will you.'
  7. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
  8. The other night I woke up and my wife was saying sexy things. I looked over and she was on the phone.

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