George Bernard Shaw Quotes on Humor
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My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.
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I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler. I don't like beer.
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'Composers are not human; They can live on diminished sevenths, and be contented with a pianoforte for a wife, and a string quartette for a family.'
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Marry Ann; and at the end of a week you'll find no more inspiration in her than in a plate of muffins.
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Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
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Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
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I wouldn't have ate it, only I'm too lady-like to take it out of my mouth.
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I often quote myself. I find it adds spice to the conversation.
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The average age (life expectancy) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and I am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beefsteak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.
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There is no love sincerer than the love of food.[1]
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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.[1]
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If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you. (cited in the lead credits to the movie C.S.A. Confederate States of America; also sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde).