Reminds me of something my grandfather used to say. He used to say 'I'm going upstairs and fuck your grandmother.' Well, he was an honest guy, you know? He wasn't going to bull-shit a 4 year old.

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.

Have you ever noticed, in traffic, anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac! 'Would you look at this idiot? Take…

Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, 'I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother.' He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshi…

My grandfather died last week, and we buried him at sea. Well, I say we buried him at sea; it was actually a village in north Wales at the time.

We must destroy the myths once and for all. We must continue to speak out and most importantly every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must …