George Carlin Quotes on Family

7 quotes

  1. 'Fussy eater' is a euphemism for 'big pain in the ass'.

  2. Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, 'I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother.' He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.

  3. Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: 'We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.'

  4. Raising a child is not difficult, you just have to follow the steps. Step one: you take the kid, and you put him on the street corner, and you leave him there. Come back a week later, if the kid's still there [clicks tongue], you got yourself a stupid fucking kid. And then you proceed from that point.

  5. Reminds me of something my grandfather used to say. He used to say 'I'm going upstairs and fuck your grandmother.' Well, he was an honest guy, you know? He wasn't going to bull-shit a 4 year old.

  6. Fuck soccer moms.

  7. Wanna help your kids? Leave them the fuck alone!!!

All George Carlin quotes