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George Carlin
Quote #186
Wanna help your kids? Leave them the fuck alone!!!
More from George Carlin
Tonight's Forecast: dark, it will be mostly dark tonight, followed by widely scattered light in the morning.
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people ov…
When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
Why do people say 'I'm going to take a shit'? : They don't take a shit, they leave one.
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