Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: 'We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.'

If I should be out driving around looking for a little fun and I see an accident, one that I am not involved in, I stop immediately! Well, I want to get a good…

Here are some musical vermin whose mothers we wish had had medical plans that included abortion. These singers who think they're so special they only need one …

Then there are all those people in the space program. Nas-holes, I call them.

The children look like Gauri, but Thank God they have my brains! - Shahrukh

There are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

I said to one of them, 'Look after the baby, I've got washing,' because we've got washable nappies. I said, 'Look after the baby. Entertain her, do some words,…