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George Carlin
Quote #144
Imagine how thick Japanese people's photo albums must be.
More from George Carlin
The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.
On Opening Day, the President doesn't throw out the first ball. He throws it in. If he threw it out, it would land in the parking lot and s…
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
Rarely does a loose woman have a tight pussy.
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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