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George Carlin
Quote #162
I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.
More from George Carlin
I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.
I never watch Sesame Street. I already know most of that stuff.
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, how can that be? How can you not have all day?
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau, but no one was there.
Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, …
I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.
Think off-center.
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
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