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Groucho Marx
Quote #119
I thought my razor was dull, then I heard his speech.
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I resemble that remark.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
If you write about yourself, the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a …
Hey! don't drink that poison, that's $4 an ounce!
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
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