Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.

Eventually I smoked Havanas. A cigar makers' organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I don't know if that's true, but once…

I cannot say that I do not disagree with you.

Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing 'Til they got a hold of me. I opened doors for little old ladies, I helped the blind to see. I got no friends 'cause the…

I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am.

This is Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen, out of character, to assure you that The War of the Worlds has no further significance than as the holiday offering…