Groucho Marx Quotes on Marx
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If I held you any closer I'd be in back of you.
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I sent the club a wire stating, 'PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER'.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Be free my friends. One for all and all for me, and me for you, and three for five, and six for a quarter.
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I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
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Emily, I have a confession to make: I really am a horse doctor; but marry me and I'll never look at any other horse.
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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.
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I feel [I feel] like an old jerk.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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If you write about yourself, the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Pardon me while I have a strange interlude...