Groucho Marx Quotes on Absurdity

8 quotes

  1. Ice water? Eat an onion, that'll make your eyes water!

  2. Be free my friends. One for all and all for me, and me for you, and three for five, and six for a quarter.

  3. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

  4. Groucho: Would you mind getting up off of that fly paper and giving the flies a chance? Chico: Flies can't read papers.

  5. (while taking another character's pulse) Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

  6. An apprentice mortician? What, do you only bury live people?

  7. I'm not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

  8. I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

All Groucho Marx quotes