Quote #50

(while taking another character's pulse) Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

More from Groucho Marx

  1. [To Mrs. Claypool] That woman? You know why I was with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, that's why I'm sitting here with you - because …
  2. Hey, don't drink that poison! That's $4.00 an ounce!
  3. [regarding Mrs. Teasdale's late husband] Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
  4. Chico: One dollar and you'll remember me all your life. Groucho: That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had.
  5. I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
  6. Send some roses to Mrs Upjohn and put 'Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill.
  7. Go, and never darken my towels again.
  8. Emily, I have a confession to make: I really am a horse doctor; but marry me and I'll never look at any other horse.

All Groucho Marx quotes