Groucho Marx Quotes on Relationships
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When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay!
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet!
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce - and so will my wife.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
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[To Mrs. Claypool] That woman? You know why I was with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, that's why I'm sitting here with you - because you remind me of you!
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It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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The only game I like to play is Old Maid - provided she's not too old.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.