14 Groucho Marx Quotes on Relationships

Groucho Marx quotes on relationships

1. When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay!

3. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

10. Here's to our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet!

16. My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

36. Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

38. As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce - and so will my wife.

39. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

47. I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.

49. [To Mrs. Claypool] That woman? You know why I was with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, that's why I'm sitting here with you - because you remind me of you!

85. It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

87. Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

100. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

101. The only game I like to play is Old Maid - provided she's not too old.

112. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.